Need to Get Some Things off My Chest

It has been a little over a month since my mom passed away. I would
have handled her choices alot different and I did try from the beginning
to guide her from main stream medical treatment.

But unfortunately my words fell on dead ears. I have learned so much
about life and people. That when you have nothing and people have
allowed so much destruction people think your advice is empty.

What has been going on in my life for at least 7 years and probably alot
longer when I think about it has greatly affected the people around me.
People allowed so much insanity for so long that I could not take it.

I blame myself for being soooo naieve about trusting people I should
have never trusted. I take full responsibility for my situation and
blame no one but myself. But I have learned what I will NEVER do!!!!

Many lessons many many lessons learned. I said somthings to my
mom because of all the insanity that make me really sad. I did not
really mean them, but it was the only way for me to show the amount
of pain and suffering people had allowed in my life, because of a Liar!

All my life I wanted the best for my mom. I wished she would find
some nice man to take good care of her. She deserved that more than
anyone. She sacrificed so much for her kids in so many ways.

When I moved back to southern california 7 years ago one of my goals
was to do nice things for my mom and take her to Hawaii. But due to
circumstances within my life that did not happen.

Life is so short and people are unaware of how short it is. They think
there is all this time. They place too much emphasis on the material
world. There is never a reason for destroying anyone EVER!!!!