I speak about my birthday, because I would not be here if
my mom did not give birth to me today. Thank you mom. I
wanted to say thank you at your memorial. Thank you.
When my mom was diagnosed with luekemia in August 2009
my life was a mess. I had been dealing with destruction for
so long. What I had to say was not of importance.
What had been going on in my life for at least 6 years at that
time had greatly affected All my relationships to such a degree.
I had moved back to SoCal to do good things for my mom.
When my mom called me from the hospital and asked to help
I did not hesitate. I jumped right in with both feet and loved
being of service to her. I helped her with her business.
I loved working at The Circle Of Friends at The Meeting Place
and enjoyed the company of the people their tremdously. I
worked with Linda and we were a Team.
I tried to tell my family that my mom needed to take care of
herself and to let me help out in the business so she could do
that, but they would not listen.
I knew my mom could conquer this with the right treatment
and I wanted her to see a holistic Dr. unfortunately she did
not want to. But I knew they could help.
My brother Mike is the only person that could talk my mom
into doing something, but our relationship was on the outs.
All my life I only wanted good for my mom.
I was going through letters and cards that I had sent her in
the past and they all talked about how much I cared for her
and how I wanted to help her.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
My Mom's Memorial
My mom's memorial was on Wednesday September 8, 2010 at 11am.
It was held at St. Edwards Catholic Church in Dana Point, California.
Even though my mom was not Catholic.
My mom was cremated and now rests in a gold urn at my brother's
house. I had plan to speak at my mom's services and was excited
about using my toastmaster skill's I had developed.
To speak to all her frineds, family, employees, employers was going
to be a privledge. But that great opportunity was crushed by my
brother Mike's wife's grandma Emma and Alireza Fatemi.
This was not the first time Emma and Alireza Fatemi had reared
their ugly heads in my families life. I have NO respect for Either!
My brother talks about people using our government.
Emma lives in subsidize housing, does not work and thinks the
world owes and revolves around her. My mother worked until a
month before she died. Emma get the Hell out of my Life LOSER!
I was so busy going through my mom's things I did not have time
to prepare. The night before the memorial I stayed up almost all
night going through cards people had sent her and books.
I put together a speech that talked about her as a mom, friend,
employer, employee, relative and what she loved most being a
grandma. I was so excited about this moment!
Not only was Emma a part of this moment not happening an
arrogant man named Alireza Fatemi was involved also. A man
that has been destroying my life with his friends for 10 years.
A man that I have not seen in over 4 years that I do not care
what he does, who he is with, or how much money he has thought
I would waste precious time and words on him at the memorial!
People are truly amazing. they think something is ok for one person
but not them or their family. They think goals of money are to be
obtained at all costs. No regard for people but much for MONEY!!
I learned what I already knew about churches, Pastor's and Priest's.
After 49 years of life I AM an Atheist! People use God as a tool for
their way life should go and be.
The people that did get to speak at the memorial were Dr. Paul
Raymond a friend that lived with us in high school and swam with
my brother Jim on the Nadadores.
Bob and Therese Whooten they were my mom's partners in her
business the circle of friends. They all did a nice job, but I would
have really reached into people's hearts and emotions.
I tell you who did an awesome job was my nephew and "godson"
Travis and his brother Thomas. I was really proud and impressed
with their presence and courage.
Priest Steve asked for us to come up for communion or to be blessed
by him. No way in Hell would I be blessed by that man who denied me
the right to speak at my mom's memorial what a LOSER Steve!
Then Priest Steve had the balls to talk about forgiveness. All you that
want to deny me speaking at my mom's memorial and won't forgive
me, want me to forgive you!!!! Hypocrites I say! Losers!
It was held at St. Edwards Catholic Church in Dana Point, California.
Even though my mom was not Catholic.
My mom was cremated and now rests in a gold urn at my brother's
house. I had plan to speak at my mom's services and was excited
about using my toastmaster skill's I had developed.
To speak to all her frineds, family, employees, employers was going
to be a privledge. But that great opportunity was crushed by my
brother Mike's wife's grandma Emma and Alireza Fatemi.
This was not the first time Emma and Alireza Fatemi had reared
their ugly heads in my families life. I have NO respect for Either!
My brother talks about people using our government.
Emma lives in subsidize housing, does not work and thinks the
world owes and revolves around her. My mother worked until a
month before she died. Emma get the Hell out of my Life LOSER!
I was so busy going through my mom's things I did not have time
to prepare. The night before the memorial I stayed up almost all
night going through cards people had sent her and books.
I put together a speech that talked about her as a mom, friend,
employer, employee, relative and what she loved most being a
grandma. I was so excited about this moment!
Not only was Emma a part of this moment not happening an
arrogant man named Alireza Fatemi was involved also. A man
that has been destroying my life with his friends for 10 years.
A man that I have not seen in over 4 years that I do not care
what he does, who he is with, or how much money he has thought
I would waste precious time and words on him at the memorial!
People are truly amazing. they think something is ok for one person
but not them or their family. They think goals of money are to be
obtained at all costs. No regard for people but much for MONEY!!
I learned what I already knew about churches, Pastor's and Priest's.
After 49 years of life I AM an Atheist! People use God as a tool for
their way life should go and be.
The people that did get to speak at the memorial were Dr. Paul
Raymond a friend that lived with us in high school and swam with
my brother Jim on the Nadadores.
Bob and Therese Whooten they were my mom's partners in her
business the circle of friends. They all did a nice job, but I would
have really reached into people's hearts and emotions.
I tell you who did an awesome job was my nephew and "godson"
Travis and his brother Thomas. I was really proud and impressed
with their presence and courage.
Priest Steve asked for us to come up for communion or to be blessed
by him. No way in Hell would I be blessed by that man who denied me
the right to speak at my mom's memorial what a LOSER Steve!
Then Priest Steve had the balls to talk about forgiveness. All you that
want to deny me speaking at my mom's memorial and won't forgive
me, want me to forgive you!!!! Hypocrites I say! Losers!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
My Mom Lost Her Life and Business on The Same Day
My mom lost her life and the business she loved on the same day.
The day my mom died was the last day of her business. My mom's
business should have been sold, but due to circumstances was not.
She worked so hard developing that business and there is a great
need for that type of service. It does not take a rocket scientist to
run that kind of business. Just a compassionate and caring people.
What has been going on in my life has destroyed sooo many things.
You would have thought death would wake poeple up. But NO they
keep up their insanity. Their programs of mass destruction.
They believe since they are rich it is their way or the highway. What
a bunch of crap. I could have been a great speaker, but envious people
thought I did not deserve that, because I am a LOSER right!!!!
The day my mom died was the last day of her business. My mom's
business should have been sold, but due to circumstances was not.
She worked so hard developing that business and there is a great
need for that type of service. It does not take a rocket scientist to
run that kind of business. Just a compassionate and caring people.
What has been going on in my life has destroyed sooo many things.
You would have thought death would wake poeple up. But NO they
keep up their insanity. Their programs of mass destruction.
They believe since they are rich it is their way or the highway. What
a bunch of crap. I could have been a great speaker, but envious people
thought I did not deserve that, because I am a LOSER right!!!!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Need to Get Some Things off My Chest
It has been a little over a month since my mom passed away. I would
have handled her choices alot different and I did try from the beginning
to guide her from main stream medical treatment.
But unfortunately my words fell on dead ears. I have learned so much
about life and people. That when you have nothing and people have
allowed so much destruction people think your advice is empty.
What has been going on in my life for at least 7 years and probably alot
longer when I think about it has greatly affected the people around me.
People allowed so much insanity for so long that I could not take it.
I blame myself for being soooo naieve about trusting people I should
have never trusted. I take full responsibility for my situation and
blame no one but myself. But I have learned what I will NEVER do!!!!
Many lessons many many lessons learned. I said somthings to my
mom because of all the insanity that make me really sad. I did not
really mean them, but it was the only way for me to show the amount
of pain and suffering people had allowed in my life, because of a Liar!
All my life I wanted the best for my mom. I wished she would find
some nice man to take good care of her. She deserved that more than
anyone. She sacrificed so much for her kids in so many ways.
When I moved back to southern california 7 years ago one of my goals
was to do nice things for my mom and take her to Hawaii. But due to
circumstances within my life that did not happen.
Life is so short and people are unaware of how short it is. They think
there is all this time. They place too much emphasis on the material
world. There is never a reason for destroying anyone EVER!!!!
have handled her choices alot different and I did try from the beginning
to guide her from main stream medical treatment.
But unfortunately my words fell on dead ears. I have learned so much
about life and people. That when you have nothing and people have
allowed so much destruction people think your advice is empty.
What has been going on in my life for at least 7 years and probably alot
longer when I think about it has greatly affected the people around me.
People allowed so much insanity for so long that I could not take it.
I blame myself for being soooo naieve about trusting people I should
have never trusted. I take full responsibility for my situation and
blame no one but myself. But I have learned what I will NEVER do!!!!
Many lessons many many lessons learned. I said somthings to my
mom because of all the insanity that make me really sad. I did not
really mean them, but it was the only way for me to show the amount
of pain and suffering people had allowed in my life, because of a Liar!
All my life I wanted the best for my mom. I wished she would find
some nice man to take good care of her. She deserved that more than
anyone. She sacrificed so much for her kids in so many ways.
When I moved back to southern california 7 years ago one of my goals
was to do nice things for my mom and take her to Hawaii. But due to
circumstances within my life that did not happen.
Life is so short and people are unaware of how short it is. They think
there is all this time. They place too much emphasis on the material
world. There is never a reason for destroying anyone EVER!!!!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Mom Passed Away August 30,2010
It has been a long time since I posted. I had been so busy and immeresed
in taking care of my mom and after she passed taking care of what to do
with her things I was exhausted.
The house was always occupied with many people and the confusion and
chaos for me was over stimulating. We all had a different way of dealing
with the situation and different theories.
I have always been the black sheep in the family. I am alot like my mom,
but also very different and opionated. My mom taught me to be my own
person and independent. But she really wanted me to be like her.
I have loved my mom through the years, but we have always had our
differences. My whole family are staunch Republicans and think I should
be as well. I am not and will not be.
Fox News was a station my mom loved to watch even in her dying days.
The station filled with hate and malice. But mom was influenced by this
garbage to her bones.
One day my brother Mike came over and Fox news was on discussing
a topic the whole house started picking on me about. The discussion turned
into a fight and a battle and a ugly ending when my mom got REAL MAD
at me.
When I was talking to my mom before she passed I wanted her to know
how much I appreciated her, loved her, thanked her. The conversation
turned ugly and she told me I needed to be on disability.
All these people that have been apart of telling me I need to seek mental
help while they have allowed a man, his wife, girlfriends and friends
destroying my life telling me I need the help. I just have to laugh!
When I was looking through my mom's things I found all the letters and
cards that I sent and wrote her. There were ALOT. They all talked about
my love for her and concern for her.
She sacrificed alot for us kids and I always tried to be the best daughter
I could not to cause her any other problems. It was not easy for her to
raise us when my father did not follow through on child support.
in taking care of my mom and after she passed taking care of what to do
with her things I was exhausted.
The house was always occupied with many people and the confusion and
chaos for me was over stimulating. We all had a different way of dealing
with the situation and different theories.
I have always been the black sheep in the family. I am alot like my mom,
but also very different and opionated. My mom taught me to be my own
person and independent. But she really wanted me to be like her.
I have loved my mom through the years, but we have always had our
differences. My whole family are staunch Republicans and think I should
be as well. I am not and will not be.
Fox News was a station my mom loved to watch even in her dying days.
The station filled with hate and malice. But mom was influenced by this
garbage to her bones.
One day my brother Mike came over and Fox news was on discussing
a topic the whole house started picking on me about. The discussion turned
into a fight and a battle and a ugly ending when my mom got REAL MAD
at me.
When I was talking to my mom before she passed I wanted her to know
how much I appreciated her, loved her, thanked her. The conversation
turned ugly and she told me I needed to be on disability.
All these people that have been apart of telling me I need to seek mental
help while they have allowed a man, his wife, girlfriends and friends
destroying my life telling me I need the help. I just have to laugh!
When I was looking through my mom's things I found all the letters and
cards that I sent and wrote her. There were ALOT. They all talked about
my love for her and concern for her.
She sacrificed alot for us kids and I always tried to be the best daughter
I could not to cause her any other problems. It was not easy for her to
raise us when my father did not follow through on child support.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I have not posted in awhile
It has been sometime since I lasted posted. Ever since mom arrived home she has needed 24 hour care. Mom was adamant about sleeping down stairs on the coach and letting her sister Darlene and friend Glinda sleep in the beds upstairs. We tried to convince mom that she needed to be in her bed, but she would not adhere to it.
Mom was not sleeping at night and a week after being home the nurse gave her another medicine that would help alleviate anxiety allow her to sleep better. The first night she took the pill she went to the bathroom and fell. She was yelling from downstairs and her sister Darlene heard her and ran down and then called for me "Lynn mom's daughter".
The next day mom had a huge baseball on her forehead along with black and blue marks around her right eye. She looked like she got in a fight and the other person won. It has been about two weeks and she is still black and blue, but the swelling and color is slowly disappearing. We have been applying ice to reduce the blood flow to the area and hoping the eye will heal soon.
Mom was not sleeping at night and a week after being home the nurse gave her another medicine that would help alleviate anxiety allow her to sleep better. The first night she took the pill she went to the bathroom and fell. She was yelling from downstairs and her sister Darlene heard her and ran down and then called for me "Lynn mom's daughter".
The next day mom had a huge baseball on her forehead along with black and blue marks around her right eye. She looked like she got in a fight and the other person won. It has been about two weeks and she is still black and blue, but the swelling and color is slowly disappearing. We have been applying ice to reduce the blood flow to the area and hoping the eye will heal soon.
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