I speak about my birthday, because I would not be here if
my mom did not give birth to me today. Thank you mom. I
wanted to say thank you at your memorial. Thank you.
When my mom was diagnosed with luekemia in August 2009
my life was a mess. I had been dealing with destruction for
so long. What I had to say was not of importance.
What had been going on in my life for at least 6 years at that
time had greatly affected All my relationships to such a degree.
I had moved back to SoCal to do good things for my mom.
When my mom called me from the hospital and asked to help
I did not hesitate. I jumped right in with both feet and loved
being of service to her. I helped her with her business.
I loved working at The Circle Of Friends at The Meeting Place
and enjoyed the company of the people their tremdously. I
worked with Linda and we were a Team.
I tried to tell my family that my mom needed to take care of
herself and to let me help out in the business so she could do
that, but they would not listen.
I knew my mom could conquer this with the right treatment
and I wanted her to see a holistic Dr. unfortunately she did
not want to. But I knew they could help.
My brother Mike is the only person that could talk my mom
into doing something, but our relationship was on the outs.
All my life I only wanted good for my mom.
I was going through letters and cards that I had sent her in
the past and they all talked about how much I cared for her
and how I wanted to help her.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
My Mom's Memorial
My mom's memorial was on Wednesday September 8, 2010 at 11am.
It was held at St. Edwards Catholic Church in Dana Point, California.
Even though my mom was not Catholic.
My mom was cremated and now rests in a gold urn at my brother's
house. I had plan to speak at my mom's services and was excited
about using my toastmaster skill's I had developed.
To speak to all her frineds, family, employees, employers was going
to be a privledge. But that great opportunity was crushed by my
brother Mike's wife's grandma Emma and Alireza Fatemi.
This was not the first time Emma and Alireza Fatemi had reared
their ugly heads in my families life. I have NO respect for Either!
My brother talks about people using our government.
Emma lives in subsidize housing, does not work and thinks the
world owes and revolves around her. My mother worked until a
month before she died. Emma get the Hell out of my Life LOSER!
I was so busy going through my mom's things I did not have time
to prepare. The night before the memorial I stayed up almost all
night going through cards people had sent her and books.
I put together a speech that talked about her as a mom, friend,
employer, employee, relative and what she loved most being a
grandma. I was so excited about this moment!
Not only was Emma a part of this moment not happening an
arrogant man named Alireza Fatemi was involved also. A man
that has been destroying my life with his friends for 10 years.
A man that I have not seen in over 4 years that I do not care
what he does, who he is with, or how much money he has thought
I would waste precious time and words on him at the memorial!
People are truly amazing. they think something is ok for one person
but not them or their family. They think goals of money are to be
obtained at all costs. No regard for people but much for MONEY!!
I learned what I already knew about churches, Pastor's and Priest's.
After 49 years of life I AM an Atheist! People use God as a tool for
their way life should go and be.
The people that did get to speak at the memorial were Dr. Paul
Raymond a friend that lived with us in high school and swam with
my brother Jim on the Nadadores.
Bob and Therese Whooten they were my mom's partners in her
business the circle of friends. They all did a nice job, but I would
have really reached into people's hearts and emotions.
I tell you who did an awesome job was my nephew and "godson"
Travis and his brother Thomas. I was really proud and impressed
with their presence and courage.
Priest Steve asked for us to come up for communion or to be blessed
by him. No way in Hell would I be blessed by that man who denied me
the right to speak at my mom's memorial what a LOSER Steve!
Then Priest Steve had the balls to talk about forgiveness. All you that
want to deny me speaking at my mom's memorial and won't forgive
me, want me to forgive you!!!! Hypocrites I say! Losers!
It was held at St. Edwards Catholic Church in Dana Point, California.
Even though my mom was not Catholic.
My mom was cremated and now rests in a gold urn at my brother's
house. I had plan to speak at my mom's services and was excited
about using my toastmaster skill's I had developed.
To speak to all her frineds, family, employees, employers was going
to be a privledge. But that great opportunity was crushed by my
brother Mike's wife's grandma Emma and Alireza Fatemi.
This was not the first time Emma and Alireza Fatemi had reared
their ugly heads in my families life. I have NO respect for Either!
My brother talks about people using our government.
Emma lives in subsidize housing, does not work and thinks the
world owes and revolves around her. My mother worked until a
month before she died. Emma get the Hell out of my Life LOSER!
I was so busy going through my mom's things I did not have time
to prepare. The night before the memorial I stayed up almost all
night going through cards people had sent her and books.
I put together a speech that talked about her as a mom, friend,
employer, employee, relative and what she loved most being a
grandma. I was so excited about this moment!
Not only was Emma a part of this moment not happening an
arrogant man named Alireza Fatemi was involved also. A man
that has been destroying my life with his friends for 10 years.
A man that I have not seen in over 4 years that I do not care
what he does, who he is with, or how much money he has thought
I would waste precious time and words on him at the memorial!
People are truly amazing. they think something is ok for one person
but not them or their family. They think goals of money are to be
obtained at all costs. No regard for people but much for MONEY!!
I learned what I already knew about churches, Pastor's and Priest's.
After 49 years of life I AM an Atheist! People use God as a tool for
their way life should go and be.
The people that did get to speak at the memorial were Dr. Paul
Raymond a friend that lived with us in high school and swam with
my brother Jim on the Nadadores.
Bob and Therese Whooten they were my mom's partners in her
business the circle of friends. They all did a nice job, but I would
have really reached into people's hearts and emotions.
I tell you who did an awesome job was my nephew and "godson"
Travis and his brother Thomas. I was really proud and impressed
with their presence and courage.
Priest Steve asked for us to come up for communion or to be blessed
by him. No way in Hell would I be blessed by that man who denied me
the right to speak at my mom's memorial what a LOSER Steve!
Then Priest Steve had the balls to talk about forgiveness. All you that
want to deny me speaking at my mom's memorial and won't forgive
me, want me to forgive you!!!! Hypocrites I say! Losers!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
My Mom Lost Her Life and Business on The Same Day
My mom lost her life and the business she loved on the same day.
The day my mom died was the last day of her business. My mom's
business should have been sold, but due to circumstances was not.
She worked so hard developing that business and there is a great
need for that type of service. It does not take a rocket scientist to
run that kind of business. Just a compassionate and caring people.
What has been going on in my life has destroyed sooo many things.
You would have thought death would wake poeple up. But NO they
keep up their insanity. Their programs of mass destruction.
They believe since they are rich it is their way or the highway. What
a bunch of crap. I could have been a great speaker, but envious people
thought I did not deserve that, because I am a LOSER right!!!!
The day my mom died was the last day of her business. My mom's
business should have been sold, but due to circumstances was not.
She worked so hard developing that business and there is a great
need for that type of service. It does not take a rocket scientist to
run that kind of business. Just a compassionate and caring people.
What has been going on in my life has destroyed sooo many things.
You would have thought death would wake poeple up. But NO they
keep up their insanity. Their programs of mass destruction.
They believe since they are rich it is their way or the highway. What
a bunch of crap. I could have been a great speaker, but envious people
thought I did not deserve that, because I am a LOSER right!!!!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Need to Get Some Things off My Chest
It has been a little over a month since my mom passed away. I would
have handled her choices alot different and I did try from the beginning
to guide her from main stream medical treatment.
But unfortunately my words fell on dead ears. I have learned so much
about life and people. That when you have nothing and people have
allowed so much destruction people think your advice is empty.
What has been going on in my life for at least 7 years and probably alot
longer when I think about it has greatly affected the people around me.
People allowed so much insanity for so long that I could not take it.
I blame myself for being soooo naieve about trusting people I should
have never trusted. I take full responsibility for my situation and
blame no one but myself. But I have learned what I will NEVER do!!!!
Many lessons many many lessons learned. I said somthings to my
mom because of all the insanity that make me really sad. I did not
really mean them, but it was the only way for me to show the amount
of pain and suffering people had allowed in my life, because of a Liar!
All my life I wanted the best for my mom. I wished she would find
some nice man to take good care of her. She deserved that more than
anyone. She sacrificed so much for her kids in so many ways.
When I moved back to southern california 7 years ago one of my goals
was to do nice things for my mom and take her to Hawaii. But due to
circumstances within my life that did not happen.
Life is so short and people are unaware of how short it is. They think
there is all this time. They place too much emphasis on the material
world. There is never a reason for destroying anyone EVER!!!!
have handled her choices alot different and I did try from the beginning
to guide her from main stream medical treatment.
But unfortunately my words fell on dead ears. I have learned so much
about life and people. That when you have nothing and people have
allowed so much destruction people think your advice is empty.
What has been going on in my life for at least 7 years and probably alot
longer when I think about it has greatly affected the people around me.
People allowed so much insanity for so long that I could not take it.
I blame myself for being soooo naieve about trusting people I should
have never trusted. I take full responsibility for my situation and
blame no one but myself. But I have learned what I will NEVER do!!!!
Many lessons many many lessons learned. I said somthings to my
mom because of all the insanity that make me really sad. I did not
really mean them, but it was the only way for me to show the amount
of pain and suffering people had allowed in my life, because of a Liar!
All my life I wanted the best for my mom. I wished she would find
some nice man to take good care of her. She deserved that more than
anyone. She sacrificed so much for her kids in so many ways.
When I moved back to southern california 7 years ago one of my goals
was to do nice things for my mom and take her to Hawaii. But due to
circumstances within my life that did not happen.
Life is so short and people are unaware of how short it is. They think
there is all this time. They place too much emphasis on the material
world. There is never a reason for destroying anyone EVER!!!!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Mom Passed Away August 30,2010
It has been a long time since I posted. I had been so busy and immeresed
in taking care of my mom and after she passed taking care of what to do
with her things I was exhausted.
The house was always occupied with many people and the confusion and
chaos for me was over stimulating. We all had a different way of dealing
with the situation and different theories.
I have always been the black sheep in the family. I am alot like my mom,
but also very different and opionated. My mom taught me to be my own
person and independent. But she really wanted me to be like her.
I have loved my mom through the years, but we have always had our
differences. My whole family are staunch Republicans and think I should
be as well. I am not and will not be.
Fox News was a station my mom loved to watch even in her dying days.
The station filled with hate and malice. But mom was influenced by this
garbage to her bones.
One day my brother Mike came over and Fox news was on discussing
a topic the whole house started picking on me about. The discussion turned
into a fight and a battle and a ugly ending when my mom got REAL MAD
at me.
When I was talking to my mom before she passed I wanted her to know
how much I appreciated her, loved her, thanked her. The conversation
turned ugly and she told me I needed to be on disability.
All these people that have been apart of telling me I need to seek mental
help while they have allowed a man, his wife, girlfriends and friends
destroying my life telling me I need the help. I just have to laugh!
When I was looking through my mom's things I found all the letters and
cards that I sent and wrote her. There were ALOT. They all talked about
my love for her and concern for her.
She sacrificed alot for us kids and I always tried to be the best daughter
I could not to cause her any other problems. It was not easy for her to
raise us when my father did not follow through on child support.
in taking care of my mom and after she passed taking care of what to do
with her things I was exhausted.
The house was always occupied with many people and the confusion and
chaos for me was over stimulating. We all had a different way of dealing
with the situation and different theories.
I have always been the black sheep in the family. I am alot like my mom,
but also very different and opionated. My mom taught me to be my own
person and independent. But she really wanted me to be like her.
I have loved my mom through the years, but we have always had our
differences. My whole family are staunch Republicans and think I should
be as well. I am not and will not be.
Fox News was a station my mom loved to watch even in her dying days.
The station filled with hate and malice. But mom was influenced by this
garbage to her bones.
One day my brother Mike came over and Fox news was on discussing
a topic the whole house started picking on me about. The discussion turned
into a fight and a battle and a ugly ending when my mom got REAL MAD
at me.
When I was talking to my mom before she passed I wanted her to know
how much I appreciated her, loved her, thanked her. The conversation
turned ugly and she told me I needed to be on disability.
All these people that have been apart of telling me I need to seek mental
help while they have allowed a man, his wife, girlfriends and friends
destroying my life telling me I need the help. I just have to laugh!
When I was looking through my mom's things I found all the letters and
cards that I sent and wrote her. There were ALOT. They all talked about
my love for her and concern for her.
She sacrificed alot for us kids and I always tried to be the best daughter
I could not to cause her any other problems. It was not easy for her to
raise us when my father did not follow through on child support.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I have not posted in awhile
It has been sometime since I lasted posted. Ever since mom arrived home she has needed 24 hour care. Mom was adamant about sleeping down stairs on the coach and letting her sister Darlene and friend Glinda sleep in the beds upstairs. We tried to convince mom that she needed to be in her bed, but she would not adhere to it.
Mom was not sleeping at night and a week after being home the nurse gave her another medicine that would help alleviate anxiety allow her to sleep better. The first night she took the pill she went to the bathroom and fell. She was yelling from downstairs and her sister Darlene heard her and ran down and then called for me "Lynn mom's daughter".
The next day mom had a huge baseball on her forehead along with black and blue marks around her right eye. She looked like she got in a fight and the other person won. It has been about two weeks and she is still black and blue, but the swelling and color is slowly disappearing. We have been applying ice to reduce the blood flow to the area and hoping the eye will heal soon.
Mom was not sleeping at night and a week after being home the nurse gave her another medicine that would help alleviate anxiety allow her to sleep better. The first night she took the pill she went to the bathroom and fell. She was yelling from downstairs and her sister Darlene heard her and ran down and then called for me "Lynn mom's daughter".
The next day mom had a huge baseball on her forehead along with black and blue marks around her right eye. She looked like she got in a fight and the other person won. It has been about two weeks and she is still black and blue, but the swelling and color is slowly disappearing. We have been applying ice to reduce the blood flow to the area and hoping the eye will heal soon.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Mom Goes to Her Home and Darlene Arrives
My mom was excited about her sister arriving and she flew in today. I had not seen her in at least 10 years. I came over to mom's house and there she was.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Darlene Mom's Middle Sister Arrives Tomorrow
I know my mom is excited about her sister Darlene arriving tomorrow. They have not lived close by for at least 30 years, but they talk weekly. Darlene was out a month ago. At that time we were hoping mom would get the stem cell transplant, but we were given bad news and her leukemia doubled and that was not an option anymore. So my mom decided to do the 7 days 24 hours a day chemotherapy treatment plan.
Unfortunately that did not work also. It seemed mom was doing well with that deadly chemo treatment but about five days after the intense treatment the effects hit. And they hit hard. Mom's speech started to slur and her appetite decreased tremndously. She would tell us the food tasted like metalic and she would also have a hard time chewing and shallowing. So mom has been drinking smoothies, juices and eating ice cream.
I look forward to Darlene arriving because she has a cheery and funny spirit. I know when I emailed her that my mom seemed to not want to try anymore that gave her the motivation to come out to California and she what she could do. I am also sure our weather is a little less HOT and NOT so humid as Minnesota gets in the summer. My brother Mike and his wife Lisa go to the airport tomorrow to pick her up.
Unfortunately that did not work also. It seemed mom was doing well with that deadly chemo treatment but about five days after the intense treatment the effects hit. And they hit hard. Mom's speech started to slur and her appetite decreased tremndously. She would tell us the food tasted like metalic and she would also have a hard time chewing and shallowing. So mom has been drinking smoothies, juices and eating ice cream.
I look forward to Darlene arriving because she has a cheery and funny spirit. I know when I emailed her that my mom seemed to not want to try anymore that gave her the motivation to come out to California and she what she could do. I am also sure our weather is a little less HOT and NOT so humid as Minnesota gets in the summer. My brother Mike and his wife Lisa go to the airport tomorrow to pick her up.
My mom visits with friends Ann and Fran
Ann and Fran came by to visit mom today. They are two ladies that use to work at Scripps Hospital with my mom back in the mid 1970's. Mom did not sleep well last night and has terrible night sweats. I called her later in the day and she sounded a lot better then she did when I called in the morning. I am not sure how long we will have her around but I know I need to talk to her and tell her I Love Her and how much she means to me.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Monday August 9th Mom's Hospice Dr. and Nurse Visit
Today we received a nice visit from my mom's hospice Dr. Marion and Nurse Misha. Beautiful, compassionate and wise. Dr. Marion had alot of good advice. She told us that my mom's red and white blood count was dangerously low and that everyday is a gift for my mom. She let us know that if my mom wanted a wheel chair that is what we should use.
She told us that we could call anytime and any hour. She asked my mom if things got bad would she like to go back to the hospital and my mom said NO! So if we need medical treatment we are to call Dr Marian and Nurse Misha first. They will then advise us what to do. Dr. Marion told my mom that she does has options regarding her life.
One option is regarding blood transfusions. If my mom does not want anymore blood transfusions then that is her choice when to stop the transfusion. Dr. Marian told us that an infection is likely and could cause alot of problems and what to do when it arrives. My mom's immune system is basically nothing and that is why being in public is not wise.
I felt relieved knowing the Dr. handling my mom's last days. I have been in the dark a little and it feels good knowing what to expect.
She told us that we could call anytime and any hour. She asked my mom if things got bad would she like to go back to the hospital and my mom said NO! So if we need medical treatment we are to call Dr Marian and Nurse Misha first. They will then advise us what to do. Dr. Marion told my mom that she does has options regarding her life.
One option is regarding blood transfusions. If my mom does not want anymore blood transfusions then that is her choice when to stop the transfusion. Dr. Marian told us that an infection is likely and could cause alot of problems and what to do when it arrives. My mom's immune system is basically nothing and that is why being in public is not wise.
I felt relieved knowing the Dr. handling my mom's last days. I have been in the dark a little and it feels good knowing what to expect.
Mom Left the Hospital and Arrived at Mike's House
My mom left the hospital on Sat August 7th, 2010. She went to my brother Mike and sister in-law Lisa's house for a few days. I went to their house in the afternoon after mom took a nap. It was nice knowing she was out of the hospital. That evening my mom was surprised by our friend Paul Raymond who flew in from Florida. She started to cry and hugged him tightly.
Paul came to our house in the late 1970's to swim with my brother and the Mission Viejo Nadadores swim team. At the time they were the best team in the United States. Paul and my brother Jim would get up early in the morning and swim and weight train for 2-3 hours then head to school and after school back to the pool for another 2-3 hours of training.
Paul left and went back home to go to college. Then he returned to my mom's house in the mid 1980's. When Paul arrived he was a little heavier and had longer hair. You see Paul has had a couple near death experiences. One on a electric skate board when he crashed and was in a coma for 9 days and the other a year later he was swimming in the ocean and passed out.
Paul brought a lot of light to the house that day. That evening my brother Mike and Paul barbaqued steaks and halibut. Lisa made some awesome scalloped potatoes and corn on the cob. It was a delicious meal. Mom even was eating and before this the only thing she could get down was juice, smoothies and ice cream shakes. It was nice to see her eat food.
We all sat around and talked about the past and enjoyed each others company. It was a lot of excitement for my mom after being in the hospital for 40 days. But I think it gave her a glimpse of the people that Love her and are thankful she has been a part of their life. You see my mom has done alot for her kids and many other people and she is loved very much.
Paul came to our house in the late 1970's to swim with my brother and the Mission Viejo Nadadores swim team. At the time they were the best team in the United States. Paul and my brother Jim would get up early in the morning and swim and weight train for 2-3 hours then head to school and after school back to the pool for another 2-3 hours of training.
Paul left and went back home to go to college. Then he returned to my mom's house in the mid 1980's. When Paul arrived he was a little heavier and had longer hair. You see Paul has had a couple near death experiences. One on a electric skate board when he crashed and was in a coma for 9 days and the other a year later he was swimming in the ocean and passed out.
Paul brought a lot of light to the house that day. That evening my brother Mike and Paul barbaqued steaks and halibut. Lisa made some awesome scalloped potatoes and corn on the cob. It was a delicious meal. Mom even was eating and before this the only thing she could get down was juice, smoothies and ice cream shakes. It was nice to see her eat food.
We all sat around and talked about the past and enjoyed each others company. It was a lot of excitement for my mom after being in the hospital for 40 days. But I think it gave her a glimpse of the people that Love her and are thankful she has been a part of their life. You see my mom has done alot for her kids and many other people and she is loved very much.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Waiting To Have Mom Home
Today I decided I would create a blog about my mom, her life and AML Leukemia. As I wait to find out when she will be released from the hospital I wonder what lies ahead? How can I best serve my mom in these days. I also thought all the people that know and LOVE my mom would be able to have updates about her through this blog. If any of you have poems, pictures, stories or anything you would like to share about my mom email me!
My email address is webhappy@yahoo.com.
My email address is webhappy@yahoo.com.
My Mom's AML Diagnosis in August 2009
It has been a little over a year when my mom Judy Leseth was diagnosed with AML leukemia. She has undergone numerous rounds of Chemotherapy throughout the year. The leukemia seemed to be decreasing and there was a possibility that my mom could have been accepted into a stem cell research program. But
that chance was taken away by a reoccurence of the cancer at a raped rate.
In June of 2010 my mom decided to try the option of 7 days of chemo 24 hours a day treatment hoping that would eradicate the cancer and unfortunately it did not. The Doctor's will be releasing my mom from the hospital in the next couple of days as a hospice patient. We are uncertain of the amount of time my mom has left and still hoping for a miracle that she would be given another chance at remission.
As I write today it has been a rough and emotional time for my family. Especially for me. I came back to Southern California 7 years ago with specific dreams and wishes. And one of them was to be able to do nice things for my mom. You see my mom raised us for a little while all by herself and would always do for us kids before herself. And to this day when my brother Mike would ask her a favor she would NEVER say NO!
My mom Judy Leseth loved her business "Circle of Friends at The Meeting Place". A place where people with early Alzhiemer's would gather for the day. Drink coffee, tell jokes and read the paper. They woud play card games, board games, video games and put puzzles together. They would take walks after lunch around the business complex and feed the dogs and chat with the people. They loved WII bowling and root beer floats!
Circle of Friends at The Meeting Place is a GREAT and WONDERFUL Place! Expecially at lunch time when all would gather around the tables and talk while lunch was being prepared. And they all knew lunch would be great, because everyday Judy would make a special desert and salad and cut up fruit for all to enjoy along with the sandwich and snacks they brought. Once lunch was served the room got quiet and they enjoyed the food.
that chance was taken away by a reoccurence of the cancer at a raped rate.
In June of 2010 my mom decided to try the option of 7 days of chemo 24 hours a day treatment hoping that would eradicate the cancer and unfortunately it did not. The Doctor's will be releasing my mom from the hospital in the next couple of days as a hospice patient. We are uncertain of the amount of time my mom has left and still hoping for a miracle that she would be given another chance at remission.
As I write today it has been a rough and emotional time for my family. Especially for me. I came back to Southern California 7 years ago with specific dreams and wishes. And one of them was to be able to do nice things for my mom. You see my mom raised us for a little while all by herself and would always do for us kids before herself. And to this day when my brother Mike would ask her a favor she would NEVER say NO!
My mom Judy Leseth loved her business "Circle of Friends at The Meeting Place". A place where people with early Alzhiemer's would gather for the day. Drink coffee, tell jokes and read the paper. They woud play card games, board games, video games and put puzzles together. They would take walks after lunch around the business complex and feed the dogs and chat with the people. They loved WII bowling and root beer floats!
Circle of Friends at The Meeting Place is a GREAT and WONDERFUL Place! Expecially at lunch time when all would gather around the tables and talk while lunch was being prepared. And they all knew lunch would be great, because everyday Judy would make a special desert and salad and cut up fruit for all to enjoy along with the sandwich and snacks they brought. Once lunch was served the room got quiet and they enjoyed the food.
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